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Below you will find a few diary pages from a friend of mine (Ho, Ho, Ho!): Dear Diary,
Aug. 12	Moved to our new home on the outskirts of Buffalo. It is so beautiful here. The grasslands and hills are so serene and picturesque. Can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them. God's country.....I love it here!
Oct. 14	Buffalo is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning all different colors. I love the shades of red, yellow and orange. Went for a drive through some beautiful hills, and spotted some deer. They are so graceful, certainly they are the most peaceful animals on earth. This must be paradise.....I love it here.
Nov. 11	Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquility. Hope it will snow soon....I love it here.
Dec. 2	It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight ( I won), and when the plow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place, Mother Nature in perfect harmony...I love Buffalo.
Dec. 12	More snow last night . I love it! The snowplow did his little trick again (that rascal). A winter wonderland....I love it here.
Dec. 19	More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work this time. I'm exhausted from shoveling. Fucking snowplow!!
Dec 22	More of the white shit fell again last night. I've got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snowplow man hides around the corner and waits until I'm done shoveling the driveway. What an Asshole!
Dec 25	"White Christmas" my busted ass! More friggin snow. If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I'll castrate that dumb bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt that damn ice.
Dec 28	More white shit last night. Been inside since Christmas Day, except for shoveling out the driveway every time "snowplow Harry" comes by . Can't go anywhere, cars buried under a mountain of snow. The weatherman says expect another 10" of the shit tonight. Do you know how many shovelfuls of snow 10" is?
Jan 1	Happy Fucking New Year. The weatherman was wrong again. We got 34" of the shit this time. At this rate it won't melt until the Fourth of July. The snowplow got stuck up the road, and the shithead had the balls to come to the door and ask to borrow my shovel. After I told him I've broken 6 shovels already, shoveling all the snow he pushed in my driveway, I broke the last one over his fucking head.
Jan 4	Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food, and on the way back a God damn deer ran in front of the car and I hit the bastard. Did about $3200 worth of damage to the car. Those fucking beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.
May 3	Took the car into the garage today. Would you believe the thing is rotting out from all the fucking salt they keep dumping all over the road? Car looks like a piece of shit.
May 10	Moved to California. I can't imagine why anyone in their right friggin mind would want to live in God-forsaken Buffalo!